Inside the mind of a fantasy writer

Posts tagged “funny

Embarrassing Author Moment

An older woman, who I don’t know, but knows one of my friends or something, had read one of my books and comes up and says to me loudly (in front of lots of people, mind you), “Oh, you’re that famous writer! The one who writes all those dirty books.” Then I get the naughty smile and the eyebrow raise like I’m a bad girl or something. “So, ‘vampires’, eh?”

*Facepalm*

Can people just learn to call me “a writer” or a “romance writer”? Though I do like the famous part lol! It’s really funny though because I’ve gotten called that A LOT, ha ha, the “dirty book writer” not the “famous” part. The worst time was at my brother’s funeral last summer where tons of people said it to me. Thank you, but…ouch, that’s an awkward subject to talk about when you’re standing in a line with all your siblings greeting people. Especially next to my big brother, who looks over at me and snickers every time.  Awkward. So, since this happens often, if you meet me, don’t describe me, or any other romance writer, as “the one who writes the dirty books”. Jeeze….come on, give me a cooler nickname already….

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Twelve Annoying Questions Authors Are Asked

Here’s my list, if you have anything to add, feel free to leave it in the comments.  I hear #1 and #11 all the time.


Dating a Romance Writer?

Like my list?


Spell Check

I saw this sign at Farmer’s market this morning and had to share….


Dating A Writer?

Things to know or keep in mind when dating a writer.

1.  Never look over her shoulder when she’s writing.

This is a giant pet peeve of mine.  For example you and your partner are both sitting in bed with your laptops working on various things or surfing the net.  Your partner looks over to see why the heck you’re typing a million words a minute.  Then enters the annoyance.  They will take a line (usually totally out of context) and read it aloud or they will ask you a million questions about what you’re doing.  Ah!  Leave her alone when she’s in her zone.

2.  Expect silent moments from her.

There may be times when she totally ignores the exciting conversation you are having with her about how you wrote this awesome code for your webpage and is instead thinking about writing that next chapter in her book.  There also may be times where she looks distant or angry but really she is thinking about writing.

3.  Expect her to know a lot of big words.

Words that most people don’t use in everyday language.  She likes words and most likely her favorite books are the dictionary and thesaurus.

4.  Never laugh at anything she have written unless it’s supposed to be funny.

Don’t read a love scene she has written and say, wow, is that supposed to be about me?  Also never laugh immaturely at them, these kinds of things we writers are sensitive about.  Laugh and you’ll be sleeping on the couch or maybe in your car if she lets you have the keys.

5.  Don’t read anything she writes aloud and out of context.

Don’t causally turn to a page in her novel and read it aloud then ask some dumb question about it.  It’s like flipping through the channels on tv and watching the final death scene in a movie you’ve never seen then laughing at how overdramatic and cheesy it sounds.  If you watched the whole damn thing you wouldn’t feel that way.  It’s basically the same thing when reading a book.

6.  Her second (maybe first) love will be her laptop.

Expect her to spend a lot of time with it instead of you.  And no, she’s not surfing the web for porn or IMing that hot repairman at her work (hopefully) she writing.

7.  You don’t have to like what she writes or even read it. 

Just make sure to encourage her and not make fun out of her hobby.  Take her writing seriously because that is important to her and your opinion as a partner means a lot to her.  Make sure to make her feel like the greatest writer in the world because most writers need encouragement.  We often times have a low self esteem when it comes to our writing.

8.  There is a big chance she may be slightly introverted.

9.  Don’t be surprised to see pieces of you in some of her characters.

Certain things she loves or hates about you might come up non purposely/purposely in something she has written.

10.  Her mind will wander…a lot.

Expect some silly and overdramatic things to spout from her lips.  As a writer she is dreamy eyed and very imaginative so except that to be a part of her personality.

11.  Don’t expect her to do any housework when she’s working on her novel. 

The dishes will sit in the sink for days if she’s in ‘the zone’.

12.  Give her alone time.

If she purposely takes her laptop into another room while you’re together don’t assume she is doing it to get away from you.  You are a distraction  and she needs to focus on a piece she’s working on.

13.  Expect to hear her talk to herself.

Most likely she will read what she has written aloud to herself to see if the dialogue makes sense.  Also she may make weird facial expressions or noises because she is trying to figure out how to describe them for the scene she is writing.


Did you seriously just ask me that?!

Has anyone made a comment about your writing/book that left you scratching your head or made you fume?

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Here’s a list of the worst questions/suggestions people have given me about my books. Keep in mind these are not from people who have read an entire book of mine but just a chapter or two or just glanced a the cover.

  • About Armaggedon’s Angel:  Is this a book about spirituality?
  • About Armaggedon’s Angel:  Zohren seems really racist.  He’s mean.  You should make him nice.
  • About The Bloodlust Prince:  You should try to come up with an orginal idea instead of copying Stephanie Meyer.  Find an original story idea about vampires.  (Okay….there are no vampires in the book but thanks!)
  • About The Bloodlust Prince:  This book is very violent, I don’t like it.
  • Carter’s Curse:  These characters are horrible people.  No one wants to read about them, they are very offensive.
  • Carter’s Curse: These people would never be friends in real life, they all hate each other.
  • The Firebirds:  Where are the Firebirds in this book?  I only see people in this passage.  (The Firebirds are angels, not birds)

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Stupid questions I’ve been asked about my books or myself as a writer. 

  • >You write fantasy so you like to make stuff up about people?
  • >What’s a fantasy novel?
  • >How do you think up all these titles?
  • >How do you a write book?
  • >How do you have time to write a book?
  • >You can write a book?  I didn’t take you as that kind of person.
  • >Wow, you wrote a book.  You must be smart.
  • >Is your book good?

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Questions I have no idea how to answer.

  • What author’s writing style is most like your own?  (Umm…my own??)
  • What are you doing still working here if you’re written books?  You should be rich by now, right? (No, I’m not that awesome…yet.)
  • Where did you come up with the idea for this book/character? (I can’t remember exactly but it came to me when I was folding the laundry…I think.)
  • What’s your ‘goal’ as a writer?  (To write?)

Has anyone ever asked you a dumb question about your writing/book?  If so please share…