Inside the mind of a fantasy writer

Friday Fictioneers: The Lights

At a friend’s suggestion I’m trying something new and participating in the Friday Fictioneers.  I will try it out once and see how it goes.  It gives me a break from working on a new story-or several (I’m bouncing between three right now)

So here’s the picture and my 100 word short inspired by it.  It was hard getting it exactly 100 words and not rambling like I am good at.  Hmm…I guess I’ll give it a title of The Lights.

========================================================================================

An empty street full of strangers

They smile at you but don’t mean it

Buying gifts to buy each other’s love

Thinking it can make up for a year’s worth of neglect

The lights strung across the sky mask the truth

Making us give into the illusion

Until their bright colors fade and we are left with reality

I miss the way the lights illuminated your smile

The way the cold flushed your cheeks

Bright packaging that made you sparkle

The façade making me love you

The darkness holding the truth

Despite their kiss of ice

I miss the lights

 

Advertisements

37 responses

  1. Kathy McClure

    Beautifully expressed. Thank you for sharing your talent.
    Kathy

    November 30, 2012 at 9:19 pm

    • Thanks 🙂

      November 30, 2012 at 9:20 pm

  2. excellent. you cut the heart out of the phoniness of how some people use the holidays and how the holidays use us. well done.

    November 30, 2012 at 9:30 pm

    • Thanks Rich and I so beat your arse 🙂

      December 1, 2012 at 8:24 am

  3. Welcome. What an excellent start! Chiming in with Rich’s comment.

    November 30, 2012 at 9:43 pm

  4. Welcome… you simply must come back.

    November 30, 2012 at 10:35 pm

  5. Well done, Heidi. The lights as an illusion and then they’re turned off and we’re back to reality. I think there’s a lot of truth to that.

    December 1, 2012 at 1:42 am

    • I’ve seen so many people act like that at the holidays and all the glitter and presents seem to change the real meaning of them sometimes. A little sad

      December 1, 2012 at 8:26 am

  6. “thinking it can make up for a year’s worth of neglect”. Well put, Heidi and welcome to Friday Fictioneers.
    shalom,
    Rochelle

    December 1, 2012 at 3:35 am

    • Thanks, I think I might be back 😉

      December 1, 2012 at 8:27 am

  7. Very nice. I love the last line’s imagery!

    December 1, 2012 at 7:11 am

    • Thanks 🙂

      December 1, 2012 at 8:27 am

  8. i really liked this 😀

    December 1, 2012 at 9:21 am

    • Thanks Paula, I’m glad you liked it 🙂

      December 1, 2012 at 10:02 am

  9. can we ever be our true selves, and which face is the real one? A fine thought provoking take on the picture prompt.

    December 1, 2012 at 12:33 pm

  10. Oooo, sounds like a good challenge. I think you pulled it off 🙂

    December 1, 2012 at 1:00 pm

    • Exactly 100 words as well 🙂

      December 1, 2012 at 2:51 pm

  11. borderer

    I am going to look that up…friday fictioneers, I mean. You came up with a really nice piece, kid. You will probably find ff a good exercise for fine-tuning your other work, as well as a challenging form to work in in itself. Go for it. You are doing fine.

    December 1, 2012 at 1:44 pm

    • Thanks 🙂 You can participate too, just click on the link in the post that says, “Friday Fictioneers”

      December 1, 2012 at 2:51 pm

      • “kid” ha!

        December 1, 2012 at 4:26 pm

  12. Nice job. Sad to think that we only celebrate with this kind of love at Christmas. But then again, we see giving people all the time – to victims of Sandy, Joplin, etc. Maybe all is not as bad as it seems.

    December 1, 2012 at 5:47 pm

    • As with people there are always good and bad. Hopefully there are enough good people as you have mentioned to keep the holidays joyous. Thanks for commenting.

      December 1, 2012 at 7:32 pm

  13. Dear Heidi,

    Okay, let try this. Good job with this story.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    December 1, 2012 at 7:25 pm

    • Hello Doug 🙂
      It was a nice break from writing dialogue. Makes me feel like I could kinda be a poet lol.

      December 1, 2012 at 7:34 pm

  14. HI Heidi,
    Welcome to the party. Love that photo of you. Nicely chosen words. At first I thought your character was just a Chrismas cynic, and I could really relate, but you took it to another level by revealing how she arrived at her conclusions. Very well done. Please come back again. Ron

    December 1, 2012 at 9:22 pm

    • Thank you and yes, I think I might be back.

      December 2, 2012 at 9:46 am

  15. You caught the flaws of our plastic society so well – there is something absurd about the tunes and smiles and forced gaiety. But your last line was poetry. Almost whispered, and tucked into the corner. Very nice indeed.

    December 2, 2012 at 1:36 am

    • I wondered about the last line but I put it in anyway. I’m glad it worked out.

      December 2, 2012 at 9:48 am

      • The last line really made it. There was a real impact there – it fit naturally in the rhythm.

        December 2, 2012 at 11:19 am

  16. It was certainly a very poetic text capturing some how false the holiday is, and how extra hard it can be for those in sorrow. Lovely.

    December 2, 2012 at 9:03 am

    • Thanks 🙂

      December 2, 2012 at 9:43 am

  17. Very nicely done. Don’t know how I missed this earlier. Love the idea of buying gifts to buy someone’s love. Never quite works out that way, does it?

    January 2, 2013 at 12:27 pm

    • I wish more people would realize that 😉

      January 2, 2013 at 1:26 pm

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s